B'Nai Mitzvah Handbook

The Jericho Jewish Center
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Handbook
 
The celebration of your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah is an important time in the life of your child, your family and our community. So that we can make this experience as anxiety-free as possible, we have compiled this informational packet to assist you with the details of planning for your joyous event.
 
The purpose of these guidelines is to help answer many of the questions that come up as you plan your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah. You will find some forms located at the back of the booklet. Please read the material carefully and return the forms to the Temple office as indicated on each form.
 
As the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator, I will be happy to offer you any assistance you might require. If you have questions about your student's Torah and Haftarah portions, and related issues, you may want to ask Rabbi Richardson or Cantor Barry Black, when your student meets for weekly lessons. I can assist you with questions regarding the ceremony and use of the Temple.
 
Wishing you an enjoyable preparation period and a joyous simcha!
 
Introduction
Our congregation welcomes members who want to further their knowledge of Judaism by preparing to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. It is our hope that through the process of preparing for the event, participants will discover their Jewish voice and bring a fuller meaning to their practice of Judaism. It is also important to us that an individual becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah in the context of our community.

In Jewish tradition, one does not have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah; one becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Bar/Bat Mitzvah literally means "Son/Daughter of the commandment," and ritualizes the time during which a Jewish child accepts responsibility for following the mitzvot (commandments) and becomes an adult in the eyes of the Jewish community. We hope to create a meaningful rite of passage that balances challenging our youth appropriately and celebrating who they are.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience loses much of its meaning when considered as an event unto itself. The process leading up to the event is as important, if not more so, as the day itself. Our guidelines for Jewish education are intended to set the stage for meaningful Jewish learning. This is why we require a foundation of Judaic knowledge and learning necessary for becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience offers not only the child but also the whole family a rewarding year of growth and study.

We acknowledge that there are circumstances where these guidelines may be overwhelming. For example, for children and adults with special learning needs, the Jericho Jewish Center offers the opportunity to design a process together with the individual and/or his/her family that will sufficiently challenge but not occur as a barrier. This can be easily designed with the guidance of the rabbi and the approval of the education committee.

At the Jericho Jewish Center, we affirm that all Jewish people are entitled to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

 
Guidelines
According to Jewish tradition, the ceremony of Bar/Bat Mitzvah symbolized both past and future commitments to Jewish life.  This commitment signifies a student’s readiness to begin accepting Jewish adult responsibilities. At the Jericho Jewish Center, we see becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah as an event and a process that involves the entire family. Parents and relatives are invited and encouraged to participate in meaningful ways. The JJC acknowledges the entire family's contribution to the growth and development of the student.

Our understanding of Jewish life places a premium on family involvement. Indeed, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience at its best provides the entire family with new opportunities for growth, both spiritually and in other ways as the family embarks on a new phase in their lives.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience is also significant in the life of our community. While there are many facets that encourage individual growth, it is our belief that an important component of the coming of age experience involves becoming an individual within a community. Therefore, we see the Bar/Bat Mitzvah as a community celebration. With the importance of family and community involvement in mind, the following guidelines were developed:
1.       Since we believe becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah to be a community event, it is important that the family be members at JJC for a minimum of a full year prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah year.
2.        As per the guidelines of United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, it is essential for every student to attend Religious School for a minimum of 5 years.  On that same note, if you wish your daughter to become a Bat Mitzvah at age 12, it is religiously permissible, but not recommended.  If you choose to do so, we ask tht you sign a paper agreeing to have your daught continue with her religious education until she has completed a miimum of 5 years.
3.       The student must be actively enrolled in the Religious School of Hebrew High School at the time of Bar/Bat Mitzvah and must complete the current grade, regardless of his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah date.
4.       Much of the natural anxiety that you will experience as you approach your Bar/Bat Mitzvah is directly related to your familiarity with the Shabbat services. The more comfortable you feel in the Sanctuary, the more you will be able to focus on the joy of the day. Therefore the families (not just the Bar/Bat Mitzvah) are expected to attend Friday evening and Shabbat morning services with the child in the calendar year leading up to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony, as often as possible.  
5.       Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah family will meet individually with the Rabbi and or Cantor to prepare the service for the Shabbat of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This becomes an opportunity for the family to develop an understanding into the general framework of the Shabbat morning service and build a relationship with your clergy.
6.       It is important that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process be respected and valued. In the unfortunate circumstance that the above mentioned guidelines are not met, the Rabbi, the Ritual Committee, and/or the Board can choose to delay the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. This is not meant to be punitive, but rather, it upholds the value of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process.
 
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
 
Matters of Ritual: Because the Bar/Bat Mitzvah takes place on Shabbat, we remind the family that the Jericho Jewish Center observes the traditions of Shabbat in accordance with the standards of Conservative Judaism.
 
Please remember that there is no smoking, cell phone usage, photography of any kind permitted anywhere in the building or on the premises during Shabbat. All men must wear Kippot and Tallit and all who attend must be dressed appropriately for synagogue.
 
The content of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service is determined by the Rabbi, the Cantor and the Ritual Committee.  Any alterations, including requests for special prayers, songs or other changes may be made only with their agreement. 
 
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah family shares its simcha with the entire Congregation by serving as host and providing a Kiddush for the congregation after the service on Shabbat morning. The sharing of a common meal is a material way of emphasizing the family’s and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s ties to the Congregation. The Kiddush can be a simple spread or an elaborate luncheon. The family should contact the Caterer (516) 938-3030 to review their options. Should you have any questions regarding the Kiddush please speak with the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator.
 
Should you be holding an offsite party following Shabbat services please provide directions to your guests in advance. Such directions may not be available in the Synagogue on Shabbat morning.
 
If you are providing transportation for your guests using commercial vehicles or a bus please arrange for such vehicles to be parked and pick up you guest on the public street behind the Synagogue. Buses and commercial vehicles may not park or pick up guests on Jericho Jewish Center premises, and may not use the JJC’s parking lot during Shabbat for any reason.
 
The supplying of floral arrangements is not required. The Jericho Jewish Center provides a wonderful bouquet of silk flowers that are placed on the Bimah each Shabbat. However, if you would like to order a floral arrangement for your special day please contact the Administrative Offices for details.
 
Family photographs taken in the Synagogue are most welcome; please contact the office for to schedule a date and time. If you would like pictures with the ark opened or a torah scroll you must inform the office when you schedule your appointment. A member of the clergy, Ritual Committee, or Board member must be present. 
 
Family Participation on Shabbat Morning:
Shabbat morning services afford the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family opportunities for participation and for recognition of family and guests in the context of these services.
 
Approximately one month prior to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah, a member of the Ritual Committee will meet with you to review the honors and rituals of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service.  A copy of the honors available has been included. 
 
Each family member and friend being honored with and aliyah must be familiar with the blessings in advance of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. It is your responsibility to see that they are prepared to recite the blessings properly, it is suggested that you provide a copy of the blessings prior to your service. English and Hebrew blessings should be presented to your family and guests so that they have time to review and prepare for their special honor.  Copies of these prayers have been provided for your convenience.
 
I will be contacting you approximately one month prior to your event to discuss these guidelines and what is appropriate and accepted on the day of your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah.  In the meantime, should you have any questions or require additional information please feel free to contact the B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator directly.
 
 
HONORS FOR BAR/BAT MITZVAH FORM
 
INSTRUCTIONS: Please complete the form and return it to the Jericho Jewish Center Administrative Offices as soon as possible. Please allow time for the Ritual Committee to review this document.  Should you have any questions or require additional information please feel free to contact the Ritual Committee Chairperson or B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator at (516) 938-2540.
 
Shabbat Date:_______________________________________
Full English Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah: ____________________
Parent Name(s):  ______________________________________
Grandparent English Name(s):   _________________________(father’s side)
                                                        __________________________ (mother’s Side)     
Sibling English Name(s): ________________________________
 
PLEASE NOTE WHEN ASSIGNING HONORS TO YOUR FAMILY & GUESTS:
Only people who are Jewish may be called to the Bimah. The JJC has some honors that are RESERVED and utilized for congregants only. Only the Ritual Committee Chair can choose the congregants assigned these honors. Please advise the people you are honoring to be in the synagogue early. Services begin at 9:00 A.M. on Saturday mornings; the Torah service starts at approximately 9:45 AM.  Make sure that those people who are receiving an honor understand what is expected of them, include a copy of the prayers for them to review.
                                             
A note about Hebrew names: On this form, when we ask for your Hebrew name, we mean your complete Hebrew name. This includes: your father’s Hebrew name, your mother’s and your own. For example, if your Hebrew is Avraham Moshe, your father’s Hebrew name is Dov and your mother’s name is Sara, then the Hebrew name you should provide is Avraham Moshe Ben Dov V’Sara. Also, if a father is a Kohen or Levi, please make note of that fact that next to their name.  On this form we ask for each of the names separately.
 
Hebrew Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah
____________________        ____________________        _______________________
Hebrew Name                          Father’s Hebrew Name          Mother’s Hebrew Name
 

HONOR ASSIGNMENTS

Ark Opening and Taking out the Torah Honor

The Ark must be opened to take out the Torah. The Ark opening may be given to any combination of men and/or women up to a total of 4 people.  If you have more than one Kohen or Levi to honor, this is an honor they can perform.  If you choose to include women, they must wear head coverings and dress appropriately.
 
What is expected of the people who have this honor: The men or women stand in front of the doors to the Ark and do not block the congregation’s view of the Torahs in the Ark. They should face the Ark.  One person removes the Torah from the Ark and hands it to the Cantor, placing it on the Cantor’s right shoulder. The other people meanwhile draw the curtains of the Ark closed.
 
English Name of People Opening the Ark:   

 (1) _________________________       

(2)__________________________

English Name of People Closing the Ark:   

(1) ____________________________       

 (2)____________________________

 
ADDITIONAL HONORS/ ALIYOT – Each of these aliyot are given to 1 person only. (Please no couples or groups of people for this aliyah)-The first 3 aliyot (Kohen, Levi & Shlishi) may be given to men only. A woman is considered an Israelite even if her father is a Kohen or Levi. A parent and child, and two siblings can not be called for aliyot back to back.
 
1. KOHEN (The first Aliyah must go to a Kohen)
English Name __________________________________________
 
____________________            ____________________                       ______________________
        Hebrew Name                               Father’s Hebrew Name                            Mother’s Hebrew Name
 
 
2. LEVI (The second Aliyah must go to a Levi)
English Name ___________________________________________
 
____________________            ____________________                      ______________________
        Hebrew Name                                 Father’s Hebrew Name                            Mother’s Hebrew Name
 
 
3. SHLISHI (The third Aliyah goes to an Israelite)
English Name ___________________________________________
 
____________________            ____________________                       ______________________
        Hebrew Name                                 Father’s Hebrew Name                            Mother’s Hebrew Name
 
 
4. REVI’I  (The fourth Aliyah goes to an Israelite)
English Name ___________________________________________
 
____________________            ____________________                        ______________________
        Hebrew Name                                 Father’s Hebrew Name                     Mother’s Hebrew Name
 
 
5.  CHAMISHI (The fifth Aliyah goes to an Israelite)
English Name ___________________________________________
 
____________________            ____________________                   ______________________
        Hebrew Name                                 Father’s Hebrew Name                            Mother’s Hebrew Name
 
 
6.  SHISHI                              RESERVED
 
7.  SHVI’I (The seventh alliyah)
 
English Name ___________________________________________
 
____________________            ____________________                     ______________________
        Hebrew Name                                 Father’s Hebrew Name                            Mother’s Hebrew Name
 
 
8.  MAFTIR  (This aliyah is given to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Student)
English Name ___________________________________________
 
____________________            ____________________                   ______________________
        Hebrew Name                                 Father’s Hebrew Name                            Mother’s Hebrew Name
 
PLEASE NOTE: If necessary, additional aliyot can be inserted between the seventh aliyah and the maftir aliyah. It will, however, add to the length of the service. (Note any additions need to be approved by the Ritual Committee and the Rabbi)

Hagbah & Gallilah: After the last Aliyah, the Torah is lifted by a man. Someone from the Congregation does Hagbah. One of your guest’s can have the honor of dressing the Torah.

Hagbah:                            RESERVED
 
Gallilah. After the Torah is lifted, it must be dressed. After the dressing of the Torah, the Torah is then placed in its stand.
 
English Name ___________________________________________
 
____________________            ____________________                  ______________________
        Hebrew Name                                 Father’s Hebrew Name                            Mother’s Hebrew Name

PRAYERS FOR OUR COUNTRY & ISRAEL

After hagbah and gallilah, the Torah is placed on a stand behind the Cantor’s lectern. It remains there while the haftorah is chanted. Following the chanting of the haftorah, the Rabbi speaks to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. The parents are then asked by the Rabbi to come up to the Bimah and receipt a prayer (copy attached), and the Cantor chants a blessing for the Bar or Mitzvah.  The service resumes and you have the following honors to distribute:
 
The prayer for our country will be read by:
 
English Name ___________________________________________
 
The prayer for Israel will be read by: 
 
English Name ___________________________________________
 
Returning the Torah to The Ark.
One man picks up the Torah from the stand on the Bimah where it rested while the Haftorah was chanted. He places the Torah on the cantor’s right shoulder. If you wish to add an extra honor, a second man can come up to place the crown on the Torah after it has been handed to the Cantor. The men (man) walks with your family in the Torah procession around the sanctuary. Two women may open the Ark in preparation for returning the Torah to the Ark. The women must wear head coverings and be dressed appropriately. If you prefer to not include women in this part of the service, the two men who handed the Torah to the Cantor can open the Ark and remain on the Bimah until the Torah is placed back in the Ark.
 

English Name of People Opening the Ark:   

 (1) _________________________       

(2)__________________________

English Name of People Closing the Ark:   

(1) ____________________________       

 (2)____________________________

NOTE ALL PRE-BAR/BAT MITZVAH SIBLINGS AND COUSINS ARE INVITED TO THE BIMA TO ASSIST IN SINGING OF EIN KELOHENU AND ADON OLAM AT THE ENDO OF THE SERVICE
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
BLESSING BEFORE  & AFTER THE TORAH IS READ:
 

 
 
THE PRAYER FOR ISRAEL:
 
 
 
 
 
 
We hope that this information proves to be helpful in the preparations for your special day, Should you have any questions, require additional information or have special needs. Please feel free to contact us. It is with great pleasure and excitement that we wish you a hearty Mazel Tov.
 
 
So You Still Have a Few Questions?
 
Administrative Offices ……………………………….……………….... (516) 938-2540
 
JEM of Jericho Caterers ……………………………..…………………. (516) 938-3030
 
President Mark Perlson……………………………..……………..…….(516) 524-2423

Executive Vice President Steven Krauser………..…………………….(516) 446-4144
 
VP B’nai Mitzvah Coordinator Robert Hordos……..……………….....(516) 433-2426
 
Educational Director Miri Kessar...........…………………………...……(516) 938-2540
 
 
 
 
 
            
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